A Man’s Guide to Menopause

What She’s Going Through and How You Can Help

Menopause is a significant transition in a woman's life. It brings emotional, physical, and hormonal changes that can impact every area of her wellbeing. If you're a partner, friend, or family member of a woman going through menopause, your understanding and support can make a world of difference.

This guide is here to help you understand what menopause is, what hormones are involved, what she might be feeling, and how you can walk beside her with empathy and care.

What Is Menopause?

Menopause marks the end of a woman's reproductive years. It’s officially diagnosed when she hasn’t had a menstrual period for 12 consecutive months. But the process doesn't happen overnight.

The Stages:

- Perimenopause: The transitional years leading up to menopause, often beginning in her late 30's early 40s, when hormone levels start to fluctuate.

- Menopause: The point at which periods stop completely.

- Postmenopause: The stage after menopause, where hormone levels remain low and symptoms may continue or evolve.

The Hormones at Play

Three key hormones play a major role in the menopause transition:

Oestrogen

- Regulates the menstrual cycle

- Maintains vaginal moisture and elasticity

- Supports healthy skin and bones

- Affects mood, memory, and body temperature

- It is the hormone that makes a women caring, loving, maternal, willing to put others first.

When oestrogen declines: Hot flushes, night sweats, vaginal dryness, brain fog, low mood, irritability, frustration and anger and bone thinning can occur.  

Progesterone

- Balances mood

- Promotes restful sleep

- Helps regulate menstrual cycles

When progesterone drops: Sleep disturbances, anxiety, irritability, and heavier or irregular periods can happen.

Testosterone

- Supports libido

- Boosts energy, motivation, and mental clarity

- Helps maintain muscle tone

When testosterone decreases: Fatigue, low sex drive, and decreased confidence or motivation may surface.

What She May Be Experiencing

Every woman’s menopause journey is different. She may be feeling:

- Hot flushes or night sweats

- Mood swings, anxiety, depression. anger, frustration.

- Low self-worth, self esteem.

- Brain fog or forgetfulness

- Vaginal dryness or discomfort

- Sleep issues and persistent fatigue

- Changes in libido or intimacy needs

- She may start to become more aware of her own needs and her right to have her needs met.

These aren’t just signs of ageing – they’re real and often distressing symptoms of hormonal changes.  Who she is is changing and this can be a very scary time for her.

What Is HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy)?

HRT involves taking oestrogen (and often progesterone) to replace the hormones her body is no longer producing.

Benefits:

- Reduces hot flushes and night sweats

- Improves mood and sleep

- Eases vaginal dryness and boosts libido

- Supports bone health

Side Effects:

- Headaches

- Breast tenderness

- Bloating

- Slightly increased risk of certain health conditions (e.g., blood clots or breast cancer, depending on individual factors)

HRT isn’t for everyone. Many women explore natural or holistic alternatives like homeopathy, acupuncture, or herbal remedies.  Support her in her choices.

How You Can Support Her

You don't need to "fix" menopause. What she needs most is your patience, presence, and partnership.

Practical Ways to Help:

- Listen without judgment: Be her safe person, let her talk openly and without interruption.  Most of the time she will not need your help, just a safe place to say and express her thoughts and feelings.

- Be patient: Hormonal shifts can affect her mood and energy leaving her feeling frustrated and no longer in control of herself.  

- Learn with her: Educate yourself so you can understand her experience.

- Encourage rest: Support her in getting sleep and downtime, she needs it now more than ever.  A well rested menopausal women is a happier women.

- Be gentle with intimacy: Talk openly about changing needs and explore new ways to connect.

- Create healthy habits together: Eat well, move daily, reduce stress.

- Be open to her choices: Whether she chooses HRT, homeopathy, or lifestyle changes, respect her path.

- Remember: it's not her fault!  She's doing the best she can, with an uncontrollable situation that can last years.

Final Thoughts

Menopause is more than a phase — it’s a powerful transformation.

Your support can be the difference between her feeling alone or feeling understood.

Show her you see her. Stand beside her. And remind her, every day, that she’s still the woman you love — wise, strong, and deserving of care.

 

Cassandra
The Garden Apothecary
Let’s work with your body—not against it